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Ladies and gentlemen, we present Cooper.

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And now, without any more ado, let's
meet the man himself. Here he is, Tommy

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Cooper.

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Thank you.

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00:00:40,530 --> 00:00:41,530
Well done, the audience.

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00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,130
I'll do the full act tonight. I won't
cut anything.

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00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:50,570
Well, I just received a letter from Bill
Bailey, and he's not coming home.

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I always say, do as you others, but do
it fast.

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00:01:01,090 --> 00:01:02,790
Now, there's the very famous Venetian
candle.

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Watch very, very closely.

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Do you know what? My wife smokes in bed.

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She does. A friend of mine said, well, a
lot of wives smoke in bed.

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I don't want face down.

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I

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was

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surprised at my parents.

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I was. They put me on their doorstep.
They expected a lot of milk.

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My wife said to me, do you mind if I
wear my hair in a bun?

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I said, I don't care if you wear it or
not for bread.

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What's this?

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And she's always on a diet, my wife,
always on a diet.

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She's on a diet now. Eats nothing but
coconuts and bananas all day long.

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Coconuts and bananas.

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She hasn't lost any weight. Well, you
want to see her climb trees?

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That is a candle.

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That's been a wonderful summer.

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Do you know, it's amazing what people
do.

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Somebody rang my wife and said, do you
know, I saw your husband on the beach

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with a blonde on his arm.

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And my wife said, what do you expect at
his age on his arm? A bucket of spade?

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The very famous Charlie's Lincoln Rings.

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One, two, three, four, five, six.

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One, two, three, four, five, six. One,
two, three, four, five, six.

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One, two, three, four, five, six.

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My father used to do this trick.

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He was a great magician.

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You'll know his name in a minute, I tell
you.

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It was on the tip of my tongue, isn't
it?

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Big man, he was just like me.

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Didn't have hair on his chest.

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Twigs.

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Uh -huh.

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a little shake and they drop apart in
front of your very eyes.

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A little shake.

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No, it's mine. Do you want to buy it?

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Do you want to buy it? Yeah.

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How much?

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Two quid.

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What is it?

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00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,890
I knew what it was. I charge you five
quid.

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I know I'd like to do something.

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There was the king of the jungle, see?

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He's not the king of the jungle, the
lion.

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And one day he woke up with a very bad
temper.

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And he said to himself, I've just got to
go outside now and teach them all who's

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the king of the jungle.

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Just to teach them.

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So he gets up and he goes... He was
really mad, you know what I mean?

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Always on a Thursday.

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And he saw a little chimp. He said, you,
who's the king of the jungle? He said,

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you, you, you.

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You're the king of the jungle.

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Well, that's all right.

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All right.

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00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,020
And he walked along a bit more.

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And he came across a laughing hyena.

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And he said, hey, you laughing boy.

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And he went, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

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Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

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Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

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He's the king of the jungle. Ha, ha, ha.

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Oh, oh.

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Ha, ha, ha. Oh, oh. You are, you are,
you are.

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So he walked on a little bit further.

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And right at the very end was an
elephant and a gorilla talking.

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And this gorilla looked at the elephant.
He said, all right, here he comes,

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Jumbo.

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He said, he's going to do that King of
the Jungle bit again.

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He always does it.

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He said, I'm not going to sit around.
I'm not going to stand here anymore. He

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said, I'm going to leave you.

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He said, I'll be right up a tree.

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He said, I'll give you a trunk call
later.

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Ripple, ripple, ripple.

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So he went up to this elephant and he
said, Hey, you!

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He said, I'm talking to you, big ears.

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00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:06,470
He said, who's the king of the jungle?

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And this elephant got his trunk and
wrapped right round him and threw him up

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00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:11,049
the air.

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00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:13,710
And as he was up in the air, coming
down, he was going, who's the king of

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00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:16,690
jungle? Who's the king of the jungle?
And he hit the ground, bang, and he

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him up again, threw him against the
tree.

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That's the other one, then the other
one, then the other one, then the other

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one. And he sank to the ground like
that.

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It may be like that, no it's not.

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00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:35,250
And he said to the elephant, look, it's
no good getting mad just because you

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don't know the answer.

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Absolutely incredible.

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And now, ladies and gentlemen, with one
of her own compositions, a little thing

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which she just ran up herself, a little
bit of reggae man. Here is the lovely

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Lindsay DePaul.

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00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:06,870
If you're hungry

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00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:10,230
for love, I've got the food.

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If you're hungry for love, here's what
to do.

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You can call me.

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And take me away.

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I've got a full menu any time of the
day. If you want something hot,

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like chili.

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00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:10,050
Ladies and gentlemen, is a floor
manager.

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Now, his job is to stage the performers
in front of the cameras, but above all,

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his job is to make them feel nice and
relaxed. Right, Kenny? Absolutely right.

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Lovely. Indeed. Thank you, David.

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Thank you. Quiet!

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00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:26,930
Next act, Magical Cooper, he does the
impossible.

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Is Magical Cooper here?

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Magical Cooper.

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Magical Cooper.

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Let's hold it up.

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00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:49,619
Magical Cooper?

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Yes? Oh, it's you.

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Yes.

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This is it, Robbie.

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Yes, this is what we've got.

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Okay, carry on. Right.

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A taxon walked into your bar, you see.

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Okay, I'll tell him. I'll tell him. No
hat.

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00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,079
No hat?

128
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:06,739
No hat.

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00:13:06,740 --> 00:13:07,920
Well, it helps a joke.

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No, but it shadows the face.

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Elbow the hat.

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All right. Okay.

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What's that?

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So this text walks into... What's that?
What's that? What's that?

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It's a hat.

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00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:26,980
You said elbow the hat, you said. Yes,
but I don't mean put your elbow in the

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00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:27,980
hat, do I?

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I'm here to help you. Right, shall I
then? Get on with the joke.

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Right. Well, this text had walked into
my eyes, see?

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Without a hat.

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And he had a big, big nose.

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And when I say a big, big nose, it was a
big, big nose. Hold it. Right.

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Hold it.

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Yes.

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Yes.

146
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,440
Is that in the joke?

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00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,360
No, I said he had a big, big nose.

148
00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:04,880
And you've got to hold it.

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00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,170
We haven't got time to ad -lib, lovely.

150
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,730
Just do the joke. Right. Just the joke.

151
00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:14,530
All right? Yes, all right. Go.

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00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:17,010
So he walked into the bar with a big,
big nose.

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00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,390
And he put his foot on the foot rail.
Camera two.

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Camera two. He put his foot... Camera
three. Camera three. He put his foot on

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00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:23,669
the foot rail.

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Hi, camera.

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00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,530
Hi, camera.

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Back to one. Back to one. He put his
foot on the foot rail.

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Do you know this joke or not? Yes, well,
I'm trying to tell it. I know, I'm

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trying to tell it.

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00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:35,810
He keeps walking all over the...

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Just, it's not. It's not for you, but I
don't know what else is going on all the

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time like that.

164
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How would you like to keep doing that
all the time? Don't worry.

165
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Don't worry, son, it happens to them
all.

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Just do the joke.

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00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,140
You still there? Yes, I'm here, I'm
here.

168
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,120
All right, I'll do the joke. Right, do
the joke. So, he walked in... Try it

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00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,120
here.

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00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:00,060
So the Texan... Too much light here,
Robbie.

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00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,760
Yes, carry on with the joke. And he said
it to the barmaid, see?

172
00:15:03,260 --> 00:15:06,560
Yes. Too much glare here, I think. Carry
on with the joke, the joke.

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00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:09,210
So he said to the barmaid... I can stick
a lamp up here.

174
00:15:13,110 --> 00:15:15,190
I can stick a lamp up here. No, he
didn't say that.

175
00:15:16,430 --> 00:15:19,070
What did you say it for, then? Well, I
never said it before. I don't know why I

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00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,070
said it.

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00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:24,910
Look, let's try and get it right. So,
look, just keep on these marks. Yes.

178
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Don't move off the mark. Right.

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I'm here to help. Right.

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00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,210
Do the joke!

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00:15:29,610 --> 00:15:30,610
Oh!

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00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,630
Well, this text had walked into the bar,
you see.

183
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:37,100
And he said to the barmaid, can I stick
my big nose up on your barrails?

184
00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:39,100
Without moving off the mark.

185
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,320
Hold it, hold it.

186
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,940
I've got all the pieces, I don't know
what I'm talking about now.

187
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,460
You'll have to make a cut in this joke.

188
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:51,400
Well, I've got the pieces, I've got the
pieces. Well, just get to the end. What

189
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,219
do you do at the end?

190
00:15:52,220 --> 00:15:54,540
All right, I'll get to the end.

191
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,300
Get to the end. I walk on?

192
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,500
Yeah. I walk on? Yes.

193
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,400
All right, give me time. Well, you're
on.

194
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,680
Did you just say cut the joke? Yes. All
right, I'll cut it. I'll walk off this

195
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,140
scene and I'll say, now I'm going to do
the impossible, which has never been

196
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,140
done on television before.

197
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:12,600
Great, what's impossible?

198
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:13,860
Trying to do this fleeting joke.

199
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,060
Thank you very much indeed, and welcome
back. You know, they say that when you

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00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:31,620
go away on holiday, it takes two or
three days to relax and unwind, right?

201
00:16:31,620 --> 00:16:35,780
for a businessman, sometimes it takes
even longer. In fact, one wonders, when

202
00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:39,160
businessman goes on holiday, does he
ever stop thinking about business at

203
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:44,680
Oh, look at that, son. Make me brown. I
mean, Charlie, my brother -in -law, he's

204
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:45,680
looked after the business.

205
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,800
It was my first holiday for 25 years.

206
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,180
Charlie looked after the business for a
change.

207
00:16:55,319 --> 00:16:56,319
Oh, that son.

208
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,300
I'm going to look after the business.

209
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,000
I must start running mad. He's an idiot.

210
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:11,359
An idiot! That's what he is. Fancy me.
What a fool I am. I'm a fool to myself.

211
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,839
Let me look after the business.

212
00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:14,939
I'm going to get back.

213
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:16,579
I'm going to go home. I'm going home.

214
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,920
I'm going to get back. Straight away.
I'm going back.

215
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:20,680
No, he's all right.

216
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:25,960
No, Charlie's all right.

217
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,160
Of course he's all right.

218
00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:29,700
He said he had phoned, didn't he?

219
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,180
There's the phone. He said he had
phoned.

220
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,960
There's the phone there. He said he had
phoned. He was in trouble.

221
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:38,500
He did, didn't he? Yes, he did.

222
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,119
Well, relax.

223
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,120
I am. I'm going to.

224
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,580
So shut up, then. All right, I will shut
up.

225
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:46,920
I'm just going to enjoy myself.

226
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:49,260
I really am.

227
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,060
I've forgotten how to enjoy myself.
That's my trouble. I've forgotten how to

228
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:53,919
enjoy myself.

229
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,340
But I'm going to enjoy myself, I'll tell
you that.

230
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:11,880
While I'm enjoying myself,

231
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,120
I think I'll take a photograph of
myself.

232
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,440
Yes, do that. I will.

233
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,320
Play some music.

234
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,040
Oh, shut up.

235
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,400
I'm going to enjoy myself, I am.

236
00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:16,800
And the doctor said to me, you've got to
relax.

237
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,440
That's what he said. And what else did
he say?

238
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:20,360
50 pounds. That's what I said.

239
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:21,600
50 pounds.

240
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:22,980
Just to relax.

241
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,640
I think I'll walk up and down a bit.

242
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,200
I'll smoke a cigar at the same time.

243
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000
I'll walk up and down a bit.

244
00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:37,280
I'm determined to enjoy myself.

245
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I think I'll read the paper as well.

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What's that? Mass unemployment.

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Famous people forced to take jobs
abroad.

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What are they trying to do? Make me feel
guilty?

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Look, everywhere there's, look, famous
people forced to seek odd jobs abroad,

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look.

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Don't believe all you read in the paper,
mate.

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Suck the blood!

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00:20:07,530 --> 00:20:10,990
Right, just remember, I've forgotten to
put the garlic in my soufflé.

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00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:21,170
It wasn't, was it?

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00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:24,910
If I rule the world... No, it wasn't.

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Oh, yes, it was.

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I'll take his advice. I won't read the
paper. It's always bad news.

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I'll sit down and enjoy myself. There is
a call from London, Mr. Cooper.

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00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:37,239
A call from London?

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00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,340
Oh, it's Charlie. He's in trouble.

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00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,020
I'll take it on here.

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00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:48,220
Say, Charlie... Oh, why is there a bit
of props there? What's the matter with

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00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:49,220
you?

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Hello?

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Charlie? In trouble?

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00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:56,520
No? Oh, good.

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I'm very pleased by that, Charlie.

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00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:00,379
How's business?

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00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:01,760
Great? Oh, lovely.

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00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:03,960
Oh, that's fine.

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00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,140
Another big deal yesterday?

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00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,400
Oh, lovely.

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00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:08,580
Oh, that's fine.

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You don't need me home then?

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00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:13,240
No? Oh, good.

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00:21:14,220 --> 00:21:15,720
I could stay another week.

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00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:16,940
Oh, lovely.

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00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,840
All right, Charlie.

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00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:21,780
I could stay another week.

280
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,960
Good evening, Tom. Hello, David. And
good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:52,720
once again to Fez to Fez, a probing
searchlight into the creative matrix of

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00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:53,720
genius.

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00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:05,000
Now, Tommy, would you agree that the
quintessential element of comedy is,

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as Bergson says, l 'amour propre du
maladroit?

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00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:11,580
Who's this? A tournament.

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00:22:13,550 --> 00:22:15,470
Maybe I should translate.

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00:22:15,910 --> 00:22:20,410
La mort propre du maladroit means that
the funny people are those who are out

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00:22:20,410 --> 00:22:24,250
step with life. Or maybe you'd agree
with Baudelaire, who says there's no

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00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:26,750
in a practical demonstration.

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00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:29,150
An Indian looking for his squaw.

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00:22:31,090 --> 00:22:34,010
Or could you put it another way? Yeah, I
could put it another way.

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00:22:37,050 --> 00:22:38,770
Mickey Mouse looking for his other ear.

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00:22:44,650 --> 00:22:45,650
Put it another way.

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00:22:45,950 --> 00:22:50,810
Put it another way. Would you say that
there is one common ingredient in all

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00:22:50,810 --> 00:22:53,010
human comedy, and would you attempt an
analysis?

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00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:54,450
I'll have a go at it, of course.

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00:22:55,370 --> 00:23:00,570
Ah, good. Well, then we agree. We agree
that risibility is incorporated in

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00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:02,850
social modes which could easily vanish.

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00:23:03,050 --> 00:23:04,930
Yes, just like this spoon. Vanish!

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00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:17,880
There is another saying that the visual
element is an important ingredient in

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00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,680
all comedy. Can you recall it? Yeah,
I'll try to bring it back.

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00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:26,880
May I say adieu?

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00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,100
Remember Patty News?

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00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:40,580
He's still alive.

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00:23:42,470 --> 00:23:46,150
Tommy, may I say thank you very much.
And may I say it's been a refreshing

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00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:49,310
change to have a really intelligent
conversation with you. Thank you very

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00:23:49,310 --> 00:23:50,310
Thank you.